ParentLine

Dear ParentLine,

Our daughter, age 17, has a drug problem.  She is addicted to heroin and has been for over a year.  We have been through hell and back and have tried everything to get her clean and give her a reason to get back on track.  Are there any services in southern NH that can help?  We’ve had to call the police on her, tried counseling and therapy (which she won’t attend with us anymore) and have spent hours researching addictions on the internet.  Please, please, please, help. 

Signed, Desperate but Determined in NH.

 

OK, so you know your daughter, the heroin addict, is sick.  However, are you ready to view her addiction as a “disease” like diabetes or cancer?  Does your daughter see her addiction in this light? Be aware that how you, your daughter and folks you approach as counselors and at rehab and treatment resources answer this question will have considerable influence on the outcome in your situation.  To help, here’s the straight stuff on your daughter’s heroin addiction.

Until recently, addiction has not been seen as a disease, due in part to the workings of managed care and insurance companies.  However, experts at the National Institute on Drugs and Alcohol refer to findings from the National Institutes of Health Consensus Panel on Effective Medical Treatment of Heroin Addiction.  The panel of experts concluded that opiate drug addictions are diseases of the brain and medical disorders and that these diseases and disorders can be treated effectively.

Take warning, however, from Dr. Alan Leshner, PhD, former director of NIDA, who states, “There’s no such thing as use when it comes to heroin, there’s only abuse.  People think if they sniff or smoke heroin instead of injecting it, it won’t be addictive but that’s just not true.  It’s addictive no matter how you take it.  It’s critical that physicians educate themselves about addiction so they can recognize it in their patients and refer them to appropriate treatment programs.”

Dr. Leshner says that people do recover from heroin addiction.  “The best programs are comprehensive and multidimensional ones that treat the entire individual.  A holistic approach could include medical treatment (including medications, such as methadone), behavioral counseling, family therapy, vocational rehabilitation, social and legal services.  We have over 20 years of scientific research laying out what works and what doesn’t.  We don’t have to rely on intuition when it comes to addiction, prevention and treatment.”

The good news is that you still have some time to help your daughter whether she wants your help or not.   Once she is 18 and considered an adult, she is responsible for herself.   While you will never stop being her parent, your power diminishes while her independence increases.   As a drug addict at 18, your daughter’s future looks anything but bright.

Each family scenario in which substance abuse takes center stage is unique. How you and your daughter got to where you now find yourselves is related to the ways you interact.  You said your daughter “tried counseling and therapy,” but if you’re still going and the addict isn’t, you both have a big problem.  Call the phone number for Child and Family Services listed at the end of the article for information about family therapy and adolescent substance abuse treatment services, as well as information about parent support groups that are specifically designed for parents who are in the same predicament as you now find yourself.

To help you be informed about the types of therapy that are most helpful in this situation, ParentLine visited the Hazelden website at www.hazelden.org, and urges you to do the same.  Research conducted by Howard Liddle, Ed.D, documents the effectiveness of Multidimensional Family Therapy (MDFT).  “The study emphasized the importance of including the entire family when treating addicted young people,” says Val Staymaker, PhD, director of the Butler Center for Research at Hazelden. 

The study, published in the American Journal of Drug and Alcohol Abuse, describes how MDFT works on different systems that create an impact on a teen’s development.  It keys on the individual characteristics of the adolescent, the parents, and other relevant family members, as well as transactional patterns that link the development and continuation of drug use and related problem behaviors.  In addition to recognizing parenting styles and beliefs as prime intervention targets, MDFT also attends to the legal and juvenile justice problems of the adolescent, school behavior and performance, and job-related issues when applicable. 

You can also access help through Employee Assistance Programs (EAP) in your workplace.  Such programs are staffed by professionals trained to connect family members to therapists, treatment and recovery programs that will be best suited to the needs of the particular family.  You may also consider going to Alanon (at this time, there are no Nar-anon meetings in NH but see the resource list below for meetings in MA).

Another resource available to you is your health insurance company.  Check with them to get a list of LADC (licensed alcohol and drug counselor) providers in your area.  Contact the LADC therapist and get suggestions as to how to get your daughter into an intervention.  You can contact the student assistance counselor at your daughter’s high school to see if that person could talk to her or if they have resources you can access. 

The “Teens on Drugs: What to Know” website (www.hvcn.org) offers the following information on intervention.  Intervention is an effective technique that can be used by families, friends, and others who care to help someone suffering from chemical dependency.  Through intervention, people who care use love and honesty to break through the denial that keeps an addict or alcoholic locked in the downward spiral of their disease.  Intervention is designed to bring about a moment of clarity that will allow the addict/alcoholic to accept help.  The intervention process helps “raise the bottom” to where the alcoholic/addict is, rather than waiting for him/her to become sicker and to “hit bottom” on his/her own.  Contact Child and Family to find a qualified professional to help you with this process or contact the following for more information on the intervention process:

 

Resources:

  • State of New Hampshire Bureau of Alcohol and Drug Treatment at 1-800-804-0909 or (603)271-6100.
  • www.Drug-rehab.org or 1-877-437-8422 offers comprehensive information 24/7 about NH rehab and treatment resources.
  • Hazelden:  www.hazelden.org or 1-800-257-7810. “What Can I Say To Get You To Stop?” Intervention brochure.  “Teens: Does Your Friend Have An Alcohol or Other Drug Problem?”
  • Nar-anon: There are no Nar-anon groups in NH but several in MA.  Call 1-800-477-6291 for information.
  • DrugHelp is a service of the American Council for Drug Information, and provides information for parents about intervention with a substance-involved teen (click “intervention’ then on "your child”) http://www.DRUGHELP.org.
  • Child and Family Services: www.cfsnh.org or 800-640-6486.  In its new Teen Center on 99 Hanover Street in Manchester, Child and Family Services hosts parent support groups, Tuesdays, 6-7:30pm.  These support groups are for parents who are living with the challenges of having a son or daughter who is involved with alcohol and/or drugs.  Meetings are free and dinner is provided.    All information shared is confidential.    

 

ParentLine is a free and confidential service of Child and Family Services, a statewide, independent, nonprofit organization dedicated to advancing the well-being of children and families.  Call ParentLine, 1-800-640-6486; write ParentLine, c/o Child and Family Services, P.O. Box 448, Manchester, NH; email parentline@cfsnh.org or visit our website at www.cfsnh.org.