Obesity

Dear ParentLine,

This year, my daughter made a resolution to go on a diet and fitness plan. My heart breaks for her as she is obese and very sensitive about it. Her size and self-image change the way she lives…she won’t participate in things at school. She doesn’t like to wear dresses or nice clothes and she never wants to participate in social activities like community dances and such. She’s even too embarrassed to go to the gym…which kind of defeats the purpose. I want to help her to lose the weight but I also want her to see herself as the beautiful girl she is. Please help.

Signed, Mrs. R in Hillsborough County.

There’s no way to sugar-coat an answer to your question, Mom. Weight problems are tough for most adults and even tougher for kids. Did you know that the #1 ice-breaker question at New Year’s parties is, “What kind of a diet are you going on tomorrow?” Not to be discouraging but resolutions are cheap this time of year. The kind of resolve your daughter must have to change both her weight and her life costs a lot more. She’s fortunate that you see her problem and want to help her.

After you’ve gone through the house and tossed all candy, Ding-Dongs, soda (diet and otherwise), and ice cream, a good place to start is to talk to your daughter about the specific plan she has for her diet and fitness regime. Though she may balk at the idea, suggest that the two of you visit a dietician to help her plan a workable diet and to monitor her progress. You might also suggest that she meet with a counselor to help her start to see the inner beauty she possesses. You must be gentle but firm in your efforts to get her to the support resources and networks she needs in order to help her re-shape her body and her self-image. Your biggest job will be to help your daughter realize that she has to stick to her plan, one bite at a time.

Ask her if she’d like the two of you to consult with a medical doctor. “No” may not be an optional answer for her. For sure, you want to rule out a medical reason for her weight problem. At the same time, a physician can explain how important weight loss is in order to avoid the health risks your daughter faces if she doesn’t drop the weight.

Over the past several decades, there have been significant changes in diet and lifestyle patterns of people in Western nations. An article titled, Childhood and Juvenile Obesity: Tips for Parents, identifies “modifiable factors” that are the biggest culprits in the alarming rise of childhood obesity as:

Poor diet. Highly-processed, high calorie meals and fast foods have become staples of the typical Western diet.
Lack of exercise. Our children’s leisure time has become increasingly sedentary. TV and video games and computers occupy vast amounts of their free time, at the expense of physical activity.
Genetics. Family history plays a significant part in whether your child will develop a serious weight problem.

According to Kyla Boyse, RN, University of Michigan Health System, author of an article titled, Obesity and Overweight ( http://www.med.umich.edu/1libr/yourchild/obesity.htm ), being obese increases a child’s risk for some serious medical problems. Some of these are pre-diabetes and diabetes, heart disease, high blood pressure, hyperlipidemia, sleep apnea and breathing problems, bone conditions, gastro-intestinal diseases, psychological problems like poor self-esteem and depression.

To help your daughter lose weight, Boyse reminds us that obesity develops over time and cannot be solved overnight. In order to help your child lose weight, they suggest that you make this a whole family effort:

Obesity is not just your child’s problem. It is a problem that the whole family must be involved in solving. Your child lives within your family environment.
Chances are, someone else in your family has also struggled with weight or experienced obesity. They may be able to offer valuable help and support in developing realistic goals for your child.
As a family, try to think of problems that you have solved successfully. This will help you stay positive, and look for other areas that are opportunities for change.
Mealtimes should be family times. Create a relaxed atmosphere around mealtime. Eat slowly and enjoy your food. Families that do not eat together tend to consume more fried foods and soda and less fruits and veggies than families that share meals.
Be a positive role model. Remember the old adage: “Kids will do as you do, not as you say.” Your kids look to you, the parents, to see how to behave. If your whole family eats healthy foods and gets active, then your child will, too.
Set short-term goals for changes in your child’s diet and exercise on a weekly basis. Make sure the goals are realistic.
Have your child keep a record of their food intake and exercise.
Make your child’s behavior changes a positive, fun experience by planning healthy foods, fun activities, and rewards for positive behavior.

The University of Michigan article suggests healthy meals and snacks:

Have structured mealtimes and snacks on a schedule.
Don’t mistake healthy eating for dieting. Eating healthful foods in a healthy manner is not the same as dieting.
Use the food pyramid to help guide your food choices for your family. The emphasis should be on grains, vegetables and fruits.
Keep only healthy foods in your home. Keeping junk food around for other family members, and trying to “police’ what your child eats, only promotes sneak eating.
Pay attention to snacks. Keep healthy snacks on hand like fruit and cut up veggies. Allow your child easy access to them.

Finally, Boyse says, “Get moving!” Encourage your daughter to engage in physical activity. Until she feels better about herself enough to get to the gym, go with her on brisk walks. Remember, a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Additional resources:

The National Institutes of Health (NIH) has a toll-free consumer health information line of weight control: 1-877-946-4627.

The American Dietetic Association: 1-800-877-1600 ext.5000.

ParentLine is a free and confidential service of Child and Family Services, a statewide, independent, nonprofit organization dedicated to advancing the well-being of children and families. Call ParentLine, 1-800-640-6486; write ParentLine, c/o Child and Family Services, P.O. Box 448, Manchester, NH; email parentline@cfsnh.org or visit our website at www.cfsnh.org.